Southern (Bonus Panoramic)

You'll have to click the picture and wait for it to load, it's very big. It is a 360 shot taken from the middle of the pier. It was bright and sunny on our walk back, we stayed in the cafe until the storm went away.


Warning: It is a pretty big file, so it could take a while to load. You're probably better off to right click the thumbnail and use "Save Target As" or a similar option.

Trip to Southend

I went to Southend to see the longest pier in the world about a month ago with Simon (on of my flatmates). I kept forgetting to get he pictures off my phone and even now, I was too lazy to resize them. In any given picture you should be able to see where the next one is taken from.

This is a picture taken from shore looking out over the amusement park and Southend Pier.


This is me before setting out on the 1.3 mile (~2km) walk to the end of the pier that you can see off in the distance. The track on the left is for a little shuttle train (if you're lazy or smart).


We went on the weekend where there were huge storms and lots of wind. We got about half way out before it started raining sideways. It reminded me of Montreal except the rain wasn't frozen. But we made it to the other end, here is the view from the other end. They used to have shops and more rides but they burned down, twice.


Ok, I guess you can't really see this observation tower in the previous picture unless you now what to look for, it's sort of hidden behind the lamp post on the left side of the pier.


Looking along the shoreline from the observation tower. The statue in the next picture is just off to the left along the top of the grassy hill / ridge.


Here's a statue of Queen Victoria, I think. There's a story behind it about her facing out to sea but I don't know it and I can't be bothered to look it up right now. Try Wikipedia.

This is the inscription on the back of her throne.


And that's the end of the tour.

Catching Up to Myself

Two weekends ago I did a few touristy things but I was too lazy to get the pictures off my phone when I got home and then I forgot about them. The pictures are pretty awful and blurry but they're all I have. The first two are from the Design Museum, I got a membership so I (hopefully) will be going back more often. I have access to 'special events' and I have free entry for myself and someone else for a year.

This was from an exhibit of some British fashion designer's work. The rectangles on the wall are different patterns he created or used, I'm not sure which.


This taken from the other side of the wall with patterns on it. You can see some of his dresses and behind them is a collage of more patterns, pictures, and ... etc.


This is the famous crack in the Tate Modern. I don't get modern art. I can make up excuses for my mistakes after-the-fact too. You see how I took the picture? It was intentionally bad. I WANTED it to be crooked, pixelated and poorly lit. You can play along now too, help me finish this sentence: I [thing we're making an excuse for] to symbolize the [current event|social movement] and to [reflect|reinforce] the [characteristic of the subject].


I don't think I was supposed to take photos in this area but I only figured that out afterwards. Oops, oh well. 80's twist: I rebelled and took pictures where I wasn't supposed to to symbolize the struggle and oppression in North Korea and to reflect the free, expressive nature of this sculpture.

Obviously I don't have the capacity to appreciate real* art. I really prefer place like the Design Museum because generally the work they show will have to have a purpose - like architecture, fashion, ads ... typography even.

* The kind of art that you have to stare at for anywhere between 10 minutes to several hours (depending on how dedicated you are and how little a life you have) making humming noises** to score scene points with the respectable connoisseurs around you that are doing the same thing.

** "Hmm, now with more pulp!"

Working Life

Work is good. It has kept me busy these past few days. I don't have any real news, maybe once I get settled in I'll have some interesting stories to tell, or at least something to complain about. Until then, here are some pictures from a few weeks ago.

This is a pretty cool sink in some restaurant/bar near Covent Garden station. The basin is make of some sort of waxy fake-wood (maybe coated, real wood but I doubt it).

This is a hand dryer in the same bathroom. It took me a while to figure out how I was supposed to use it (read: I didn't read the very obvious, clear instructions). You put your hands straight down inside of it triggering what seemed like a modified jet engine, then you lift them up slowly. It works suspiciously well. It pushes action pushes the water down your hand towards your fingertips then off. Much faster than standard dryers.

The London Dungeons

Going to The London Dungeons was the single biggest disappointment of my life (and that's actually a generous understatement). It doesn't even merit a paragraph detailing why it was so awful so I'm just going to leave it at that.

What I will write about is how much better the advertisements made it seem. They really did a good job. There are posters all around London Bridge station, some try to depict how scary the rides are and some are clever and make you smile. The clever posters were much less deceiving because they, like the dungeons, were a joke.

One of the rides in a 'scary' poster shows a bunch of people in a log-flumesque ride shrieking as they tip forward over the edge of a huge drop. In reality, this ride actually goes 2km/h up a 10 foot incline, turns you around, moves you 20 feet to the left and you plummet backwards into a pitch-black, never-ending abyss (10 foot drop) at a heart-stopping 4km/h. It also comes with a complementary "get mechanically burped on by the animatronic guy heckling you" right before the drop. The ride is actually shorter than the safety lecture they give you before hand.

The other ride shown in a 'scary' poster (and alleged "climax" of the journey) is another 10 foot drop, only this time it's vertical. What makes this so much better than the other one is that it is significantly shorter, although still half as long as the safety lecture. Unfortunately they take your picture so that drops it down a few notches. There are a few conditions to be eligible to go on this ride. One, you have to be at least 1.2 meters tall. Two, you have to have a spinal column (or similar substitute). I think that's all of them. Maybe they should add "cannot be afraid of cameras" or "must not be allergic to plastic" or something else along those lines. I have my own warnings for those of you that are brave enough to venture on the 20 foot journey (up, then down). One, don't bother. Go directly to the gift shop and buy an over-priced Cherry Coke and enjoy it while you wait. If you really want to go on the ride but don't think you have the wits to survive the rest of grueling 1.5 hour tour, I have taken the time to come up with a cost-effective alternative. You can simulate the experience by having your friend push you off the sidewalk when you're sort of already expecting it, then take a picture of you (but if you want the picture you have to pay him $10).

To answer my question from yesterday when I said:

You can try to find out more about it here http://www.thedungeons.com/ but their website doesn't seem to be too useful (an opportunity?).

Now I understand that the website serves the only purpose it can, to take money from people. If they actually explained what the dungeons were then it would be counter-productive.

Looking back on it, I could have been the scariest thing in there. I was standing near the entrance reading a sign when a woman walked around the corner. I moved a little (because I'm alive) and she jumped back in surprise. Apparently there a few ghosts and ghouls around London that wear reflective blue fall jackets, jeans and glasses. The scariest part for me was seeing some of the actors in the tube station trying to withdraw money from a cash point (ATM) and complaining that they could only take out 100 pounds at a time. They should never be seen in properly lit areas, ever. It's for the greater good.

But, it seems, there is always that silver lining. I got to complain and make fun of something, which are two of the things I do best. Hopefully it was as entertaining for you to read as it was for me to write.

Curiosity & Advertising: 1 | Scot: 0

Although, to be fair, it was two versus one.

Tomorrow's To-Do's

Today was pretty good. I worked on my presentation all afternoon and I think it turned out pretty well. I might post a link after I finish having it proof read. I conquered the washing machine. And the rainy morning turned into a beautiful, clear afternoon. One of the contacts that the owners of Artifact-Software set me up with got in touch with me and his friend is going to give my CV to his boss. If I do find work, I still plan on applying for a web internship at The Design Museum once I know my availability. If that time falls towards the end of my stay instead of now that might even work out better. I don't have any expectations but I feel like everything is under control now and I should be happy however all of this turns out.

Tomorrow afternoon I'm going to The London Dungeons. I'm not exactly sure if it's a ride or a tour or something else but I booked my ticket on Sunday so I'm committed. You can try to find out more about it here http://www.thedungeons.com/ but their website doesn't seem to be too useful (an opportunity?). Tonight I had a disgusting amount of unflavoured rice for supper, I guess it was a little healthier than Best Chicken but my stomach still hurts.

Design Museum

The highlight of my trip so far - and the only touristy thing I've allowed myself to do, incase I still don't have a job next month.

The Design Museum borders the Thames. This is a giant head with the outside of the museum in the background (you can see the writing on the wall).

They had a section about some company that created theme fonts. This one is called "Expletive Script" and I can't remember what it was based on. The picture is really awful but I still wanted to put it up.

They had a section making politcal statements about current events. This was one about consumerism and North Korea.

I felt really good after going there. There was a really amazing architectural exhibit and it made me realize how "in the box" my designs have become. I bought a book about web portfolios so I could see what other people have been doing. I'm planning to redesign mine next week to keep busy while I wait for them to install my internet. Maybe being disconnected from everything and everyone will make me go crazy and thus become an artist instead of a designer.

I plan to get a membership there, it's really cheap for people under 26. Something like £20 instead of £150. (The bonus to being at an internet cafe is that I can make the symbol for pounds.)