Peanut Butter

It exists! I went to buy a jar today but it looked disgusting and grey, so I bought two jars instead.

Update:
I made some peanut butter and banana sandwiches to test out my morning shopping. I have discovered that ASDA brand peanut butter is to KRAFT brand peanut butter as to infomercials are to prime time TV. They are similar in appearance, smell and even taste. Unfortunately, the magic is missing. (Not the kind of magic you can buy for limited time only for three easy payments for $19.99 plus shipping and handling. Certain conditions apply. Offer not valid outside of the continental United States of America. And if you place your order in the next 60 seconds you get this 15 piece stainless steel knife set absolutely FREE...59...58...57....) The kind of magic I'm talking about is the experience of having smooth, soft peanut butter in your mouth. Instead it it feels like I'm eating paste made out of ground up peanut-flavoured crayons mixed with peanut-flavoured white glue. It isn't that bad it just feels wrong, like Tom Selleck without a mustache. Anyways, I'm going to go back to eating my arts and crafts sandwiches. I have to get through a whole loaf of bread by Monday because I forgot that "reduced" doesn't necessarily mean "on sale" it is more like "we found this in the back and it expires tomorrow, enjoy."

Update (again):
As an added bonus, if you let it sit for a little while it seems to turn into peanut-flavoured construction paper.